Geeks, Nerds and Dweebs

Geek Shirt I was looking over a Slashdot article that was beating the Geek Squad into the dirt and stumbled upon one of the best definitions of geeks, nerds and dweebs amongst the comments. After reading it thoroughly, I’m happy to say that I am still a Geek by the terms listed.

There *is* a clear distinction and a value hierarchy among geeks, nerds, and dweebs, but you’ve got it all wrong.

What follows, I claim, is the one true classification of geekdom. It has stood up to rigorous peer review (loud arguments amongst drunken physics students) for years, and I stand by it.

A dweeb is someone without social skills who either doesn’t recognize or is unable to accept that they are unusual. They constantly *try* to fit in, with disastrous results, and dedicate a significant portion of their daily lives to obsessing over how to pass as normal.

A nerd is someone without social skills or popular interests who recognizes that he or she is unlike most people and feels no shame in it.

A geek is a nerd with technical skills and passionate interests; in particular one who has a myopic dedication to a particular specialty. (This is the subspecies *true geek,* distinct from but related to the *common geek,* or nerd who is generally technically savvy and useful to have around.)

To summarize, the dweeb is the guy wearing a slightly out of fashion hipster shirt who generally creates embarrassing silences at parties by saying awkward things about pop stars or sports teams.

The nerd is the guy who skips the party in order to achieve moderately high scores on a popular video game while eating unheated canned peas with a spoon and listening to recordings of experimental music.

The geek is the guy who skips the party in order to code a popular video game, figure out the angle of repose one might expect for a pile of canned peas, or compose and record some experimental music.

On the college campus, geeks make up virtually the entire population of physics and math majors (as well as a majority in classics, many of the less trendy engineering sub-disciplines, linguistics, physical anthropology, and some of the more obscure languages.)

The nerds are the guys who drop out of school after one semester but stay in a college town working in a bookstore, where they get great discounts on whatever genre books they happen to like and talk to their geek friends about writing their own books yet never seem to actually finish any of them.

The dweebs largely end up in engineering or the quantitative business disciplines, in the hopes that they can earn enough money to buy the respect of powerful and attractive people. Those in engineering have a tough time of it, as they are publicly ignored by the normals whom they so admire while simultaneously earning the scorn and contempt of the geeks in their departments. Those in business do rather well, since they have a good chance at fooling their colleagues into thinking that they are geeks. (Normals may not invite geeks to parties, but they do like to hire them.)

I’m proud of my Geekiness. I’ll be the first to call myself a geek, but what really irks me is when I proclaim myself as one, my family immediately replies with a “nahhh…you’re not a geek,” in a comforting tone. I’ve worked hard to be obsessive over random things (Star Wars, Warcrack, Programming, etc)…let me have my cake and eat it too :)

I’m no Dweeb. I’m not a Nerd. A Geek I will remain.

Discuss This Article


8 Responses to “Geeks, Nerds and Dweebs”

  1. AvatarA Friend

    I would say that you are a dork… HaHa, just kidding.

    Reply to this comment.
    1
  2. AvatarMatt
    Author Comment

    A dork is a whale penis….whee.

    Reply to this comment.
    2
  3. AvatarPJ

    Here’s my theory:

    Nerds do most of the coding and create the technology. Geeks use the technology created by the nerds and implement what the nerds have made for the masses. Geek examples: web designers, 9rules/TypePad bloggers. Linux you’re a nerd, Mac you’re a geek. Geeks adopt early and come up with new ideas for nerds to work on. Nerds get ideas working. Geeks use technology to get popular. Nerds are not popular.

    Reply to this comment.
    3
  4. AvatarMatt
    Author Comment

    @PJ

    I do coding: PHP, PL/SQL, Java, Javascript, MySQL, Oracle, typical web-design stuff (XHTML, gfx, etc). I do it on either my Linux OR my Mac (or, sadly my Winblows box at work). Does this make me a hybrid? A Neek or a Gerd?

    Reply to this comment.
    4
  5. AvatarJo Jo

    NERD [nurd]–noun Slang.
    1. A stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.
    2. An intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.
    - - - - - - -
    GEEK (gēk)-noun Slang.
    1. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
    2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
    3. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
    - - - - - - -
    DWEEB (dwēb)-noun Slang
    1.A person regarded as socially inept or foolish, often on account of being overly studious.
    - - - - - - -
    DORK [dawrk]-noun Slang
    1. A dull stupid fatuous person
    2. A stupid or ridiculous person; jerk; nerd.
    3. Vulgar. penis.
    - - - - - - -
    POSER (pō’zər)-noun Slang
    1. One who poses.
    2. A person who habitually pretends to be something he is not; a poseur.
    - - - - - - -
    FREAK (freek)-noun Slang.
    1. A person who has withdrawn from normal, rational behavior and activities to pursue one interest or obsession: a drug freak.
    2. A devoted fan or follower; enthusiast: a baseball freak.
    3. A hippie.
    - - - - - - -
    WEIRDO [weer-doh]–noun Slang.
    1. An odd, eccentric, or unconventional person.
    2. A psychopath, esp. A dangerous or vicious one; psycho.

    ***
    I agree with PJ. The definitions have changed, it seems, over the last ten years orso. Now everyone wants to be a geek. It’s the “geek squad.” Some ass came up with an idea on how to bring it back and capitalize on it. And now there is all this debate on the differences in definition between the two, geek and nerd. Which is superior to the other.
    It’s rediculous. The ‘nerd’ creates. The ‘geek’ is a utilizer, user, or fan of what the ‘nerd’ creates. And the ‘dweeb’ knows nothing, i.e. jack shit. Screw all these new ads and movies and idiots who want to change it all around. It started this way in the nineteen-fifties. Delude yourselves if you choose. Still doesn’t change the facts.

    Reply to this comment.
    5
  6. Avatarpussyspinkfairy

    i love nerdy men sooooo much i wish there was a porn sight that had nerdy men posing

    Reply to this comment.
    6
  7. pingback pingback:
    Random Thoughts of A Common Geek « MegBlogs

    [...] Random Thoughts of A Common Geek Filed under: Anecdotes — meg @ 8:12 pm Tags: computers, geek, machines A geek is a nerd with technical skills and passionate interests; in particular one who has a myopic dedication to a particular specialty. (This is the subspecies *true geek,* distinct from but related to the *common geek,* or nerd who is generally technically savvy and useful to have around.) - Geeks, Nerds and Dweebs [...]

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  8. pingback pingback:
    Random Thoughts of A Common Geek « MegBlogs

    [...] Random Thoughts of A Common Geek Filed under: Anecdotes — meg @ 8:13 pm Tags: computers, geek, machines A geek is a nerd with technical skills and passionate interests; in particular one who has a myopic dedication to a particular specialty. (This is the subspecies *true geek,* distinct from but related to the *common geek,* or nerd who is generally technically savvy and useful to have around.) - Geeks, Nerds and Dweebs [...]

    Reply to this comment.
    8

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