Internet and Awesomeness Diagram – A Technical Post



I’ve been involved in a number of conversations about how cool the internet is and how awesome many things are (specifically Ninjas). There is typically a great debate on what is and isn’t awesome, what is and isn’t on the internet, etc. Well, I’ve done years of research on the topic and will detail the internet as a whole in a series of Venn Diagrams.

The Internet

The internet exists. This is a fact. We see that in the following diagram as proof of its existence.



Awesomeness exists. This is also a fact. As you can see in the following diagram – as proof – that there is a lot of awesomeness in the world (about as much as there is internet)…BUT…it is important to note that there is a cross-section of the two. Not all of the internet is Awesome. Not all of the Awesomeness in the world is the Internet.


Ninjas Are Awesome

Ninjas exist. This is a fact. All Ninjas are Awesome. While not all, a majority of Awesomeness in the world is Ninjas. A chunk of information on Ninjas exists on the Internet. This is Awesome. In fact, most Awesomeness on the internet is about Ninjas…the rest isn’t so Awesome. See here:


What about other cool things?

This is important. There are other Awesome things that are worth noting, particularly Dinosaurs, Zombies, and Robots. Its also important to note that there is a lot of information on those topics and not all Dinosaurs, Zombies, and Robots are Awesome…It just so happens that they are ONLY awesome in the event that they are Ninja Dinosaurs, Ninja Zombies, and Ninja Robots. That is Awesome. Especially when that important and Awesome information is on the Internet. Seen here:


Where Are The Pirates?

Pirates are not Awesome. In fact, even though there is a large amount of data on the Internet about Pirates, they are the furthest thing from being Awesome. Shown here:


Refined Awesomeness

I find the Disney Cartoon show Gummi Bears Awesome. They are neither Ninjas nor on the Internet. But Awesome none-the-less.


Expert Opinion

These are the hard facts. While there may be more Awesomeness in the world (and on the internet), they pale in comparison to the aforementioned Awesome subjects. The countless hours of research and statistics that have gone into these diagrams is something to consider when framing an argument around the Awesomeness on the Internet and, specifically, where Pirates fall in the grand scheme of things.

Pirates are not Awesome, although their decrease in number has lead to Global Warming.

Other Resources

There aren’t any other resources worth mentioning as this is all the expert opinion that is needed. Although, if you are looking for a great Pirate vs Ninja video, check “How to kill a mocking bird” out.

If you want a sweet Ninjas > Pirates desktop background, get it here.

School Punishes Student For Blogging From Home

School 8 Schools across the country are cracking down on student computer use; blocking social sites and proxy servers. Many schools are perfectly within their right to prevent teenagers from frequenting sites like MySpace, Facebook and Xanga while using school hardware. In all actuality, there is no real need for students to be on such social sites at school when it could impede on studying and perhaps pose a danger to the student (internet predators).

Do schools try to reach to far? This article seems to think so, as there is another school – Plainfield School District in Illinois – attempting to reach into the homes of its students and lay the smack down.

A 17-year-old student who posted on his blog site that he was being bullied and threatened by the Plainfield School District will face an expulsion hearing this week, a local attorney said.

Back in November, Pope John XXIII Regional Highschool decided to stretch their rights a little far and reach into the home of their students, threatening suspension to anyone that failed to delete their accounts on various social networking sites. My post – School Bans Social Websites – discusses this school’s attempt at control and has been met with a huge onslaught of student irritation.

Students are generally unhappy with this type of control – as well as the simple blocking of sites that many schools are doing – and are reacting in the only way they can…with their voice. They comment on my blog expressing their opinions (I’ve had 119 comments on that blog post as of this posting and they are still rolling in), they complain on their social sites, they blog. The 17 in this article blogged the following on May 2 (without mentioning the school the student wrote):

“I feel threatened by you, I cant even have a public Web page with out you bullying me and telling me what has to be removed. Where is this freedom of speech that this government is sworn to uphold? … Did you ever stop to think this will start a community backlash? The kids at Columbine did what the did because they were bullied. … In my opinion you are the real threat here. None of us ever put in our xanga’s that they were going to kill or bring harm to any one. We voiced our opinions. You are the real threat here. you are depriving us of our right to learn. now stick that in your pipe and smoke it.”

What are the school districts thinking? It is the parents job to police student’s internet usage at home, NOT the school’s. It doesn’t matter if the school doesn’t like the sites students visit or if a student says something bad about his school…they may be kids but don’t they get some level of free speech? The article states:

Superintendent John Harper, who cannot comment on student cases, said the district will take action if it believes there is a safety issue. Meanwhile a spokesman for the American Civil Liberties Union said school districts must be careful not to discipline students on matters that occur outside school. The student’s attorney believes Plainfield School District is overstepping its boundaries.

“The district is going to take away the student’s education for exercising his freedom of speech,” said attorney Carl Buck. “I feel like they are trying to control his freedom of speech. … He is saying, ‘You can’t bully people and we have a right to object and you can’t throw people out of school for voicing their opinions.'”

Schools simply need to wake up and smell the coffee. Block social sites at school if its impeding on school work, but don’t threaten and punish the kids for doing things at home. Educate them on the dangers of the internet and educate the families on the need for some policing of internet usage at home. I want schools to teach my kids (when I have them), not parent them.

In closing, here’s a line from the article sums up my opinions:

“It is not a crime to write things on the Internet – though we find them offensive, troubling and disheartening, it is not a crime[.]”

Google’s Private Internet? WTF Dale’s Back?

I stumbled upon an article on Slashdot that points at Times Online UK. Times Online UK seems to be claiming that:

Google is working on a project to create its own global internet protocol (IP) network, a private alternative to the internet controlled by the search giant, according to sources who are in commercial negotiation with the company.

This sounds like my ‘ole Mennonite friend’s plan of attack. Perhaps he’s gained a foothold in the search giant’s upper echelons with his revolutionary idea that he mentioned to me a couple of months back.

I also am planning, too, to start up a whole new internet as well.

[…]I suppose that you are referring as to “how” all this can and/or could come about – from a technical point of view? Well despite the fact that I do a lot of stuff online, yet in certain aspects, I am still in the dark as to some of the technical aspects in how the net actually functions … but I do know this, that it is a whole bunch of computers all “linked” together, with people using their own computers, seeking information, of which is stored in these “linked” computers. And so, because the “root” of the system will, and can only always be the same, for no matter which internet “concept or idea” comes along, it will all function the same, right. And so, such is the same with my idea, … it will “piggy back” the root system as the “mainstream” internet does. In fact, it will actually piggy back the main internet (or domain system), through “sub” domains. Now obviously anyone who has done a certain amount of internet stuff will know that this system has already been used for a long time already, but it’s in my “philosophical” and “attitude” approach that hopefully will set my “sub” domain “principle” apart from the rest.


Ajax, More Than A Buzz Word

Ajax the development technique, not to be confused with Ajax the cleaning solution, is taking the web by storm. What is it?

Ajax stands for Asynchronous Javascript And XML. Its an architectural methodology on the interactions between a number of different technologies in a way that provides a more seamless user experience between user-to-server communication.

There are tons of blogs and articles out there that rant and rave of its use as savvy site designers implement Ajax into their web applications, and rightly so. However, through my blog skipping and digg watching I have seen numerous complaints of “OMG, Ajax is stupid….its just a fad/buzzword/etc” or “Ajax is just overhyped, don’t know why people use it!!” I have a couple words that describe those people: cynical, ignorant and, well…squirrel handed. Wake up people. Ajax isn’t a fad, its an architectural change in the way that web applications function. A focus on application speed and uninterrupted user interaction.

What’s so great about it? Why do I pee my pants with glee every time I use a web app that makes use of the technology?

I’m a developer. I’ve been developing database driven web applications for a number of years now and have seen the clear line between a desktop application and a web application. Desktop applications are highly interactive and responsive to the user, where web apps (in the past), were fairly static locations (however dynamic the content) to provide information/entertainment to the user, where user interaction required page loads in order to store information to a database/write to a file.

Next came Flash, an excellent tool but tends to require a much more artistic flare and is much more time consuming with general maintenance than its worth.

The reason Ajax is so sexy is that it bridges the gap.

The average-Joe browser may not be aware when they stumble upon a site that makes good use of Ajax, but that average Joe can feel something right about it. To the avid browser, however, an Ajax site is more readily obvious; you can interact with elements on a page and save settings without reloading; pages are highly resposive to user input with minimal wait times.

Gmail and Google Maps were the applications that really brought Ajax into the limelight. (They weren’t the first, just the first major apps). The world saw what Google could do and followed suit. The world saw that it was good. The Ajax revolution was born. It has birthed a whole new breed and boom on the internet, bringing forward a multitude Ajax enabled sites and applications:

And thats just the tip of the iceberg. I look forward to what will become of our expectations of web applications. You won’t see me sitting idle during this evolution. I will be innovating and participating all along the way.

OMG Girlz Don’t Exist on teh Intarweb!!!!1

This article on Escapist Magazine is amazingly funny and oddly true. It summarizes the assumptions that most on-line gamers have regarding gamer girls…attractive ones at that. Here’s an excerpt:

I am a girl on the internet. Yes, I said it. A girl on the internet. There really are quite a few of us. I can type. I can play games with the best of you. And you, my friend, are about to get owned by a girl.
[boy1] Teleios is a girl.
[boy2] omg, r u serious?
[boy1] yup, i heard her on vent.
[boy2] omg pics, now.
[Teleios] No.
[boy1] c’mon. you’re not a girl if u don’t show us pics.
[Teleios] I am a girl.
[boy2] then show us a pic.
[Teleios] no.
[boy1] teleios is probably a guy using a voice thing cuz she won’t show a pic.
[boy2] ya, there are no girls on the intarweb.

Sadly, this is true. I have even made assumptions that certain people were male when I’ve played games and I am thrown for a loop when I find out that the person is actually female…and yes, some of those people were attractive female gamers. What is important to note that this isn’t necessarily a sexist assumption. In the past, the number of male gamers dwarfed the number of female gamers by large margins. With the emergence of MMORPGs and increased advertising directed towards females, we are seeing an increase in the amount of “Holy Grails” out there playing a multitude of different genres of games! Its actually really cool.

Image copyright to Escapist Magazine

Deleting the Internet

I am always talking about deleting the internet. I have finally written a script that will traverse the ENTIRE internet (regardless of security) and delete everything. We’re talking images, video, text documents, pdfs, security files, EVERYTHING. It took me a while to code, but I believe it will work. I have not yet tested it as I don’t want to be the one targeted by the media. If you feel so inclined to test the script: click here.

(photo courtesy of:

Don’t Use the Internet

Oh man. Friday I bought the domain name The purpose of the site will be to blog all kinds of complaints as to why we should boycott the internet…on the internet. Anyhow, that same day I purchased the domain, some dude up in Canada was looking at that domain name too. He saw that I had purchased it and decided to send me the following e-mail:

Hi, Matt.
I’m D____ F_______, from ________ Canada, … and I love using the internet, and often look for interesting domains.

Wow, I couldn’t believe it as I had a brainwave to suddenly check out your domain name, just to see if someone bought such a unique domain name such as yours of …

And guess what, I see that just yesturday, you bought it, too … wow, what coincidence.

I doubt if I would have ever bought the name, myself, but who knows, and if I would have, I would have been so dissappointed that I missed buying it by one day.

Anyway, I suppose I am curious just as to why you would actually buy a domain such as this?

Is it just for unique novel purposes (such as to what I would have used it for), or is it that you actually do not believe in using the net, if I may ask?

Ok, well pleased to have made your aqquaintance, and if you don’t reply, well I will just have to return to your site, sometime and check it out to see what you will put up on it (as at present you only have the “parent dir” on it).

bye for now, D_____

To which I replied:

Hi, D_____

I don’t believe in using the internet. Everytime someone uses it, God kills a puppy.