Tag: Humor

You think you’re a parent    But you slink to the side.While your child is wailing,    You just want to hide. Real parents get happy,    And filled up with mirth,Every time that there’s tears—    From the kid—after birth. It should recharge your strength,    When their eyes become wetter,You should laugh when they cry,    I bet you’ll feel better. When needles get prickly,    You…

Maddie’s slightly salty,        Leaving PES behind,        It’s all she’s known,        And frankly,        It’s living rent-free in her mind. Dad and mom remind her,        That she isn’t throwing shade,        Upon her youth,        As she advances,        To a higher grade. “Just don’t be super extra,        As you start to find your way,        ‘Cause you gotta,        Pass the vibe check,        Or you’ll get dragged every day.” “Slaps are not the…

You invaded the tumultuousness of my mind,becoming a steadfast rock amidst the chaosthat describes my thoughts,breaking me so that all I could think about was you. I longed for your warmth.yearned to fall into the sweet serenity of contentment,with the taste of you filling my mouth,and your presence eradicating the emptiness I felt inside. As…

I put away my green clothes,And traded them for tartan. My clover died,My luck’s run out,I’ve left my taters strewn about,And though it made me want to pout,I quit my river dancin’. As bagpipes play,Across the loch,I now use Gaelic when I talk,And pat the coos upon my walk,To join my Heeland Clan. For DNAUnveiled…

Everything tastes bad.My apple today tasted weird.I can’t enjoy butter on rolls.Why    does        my            life                suck?Forsaken by chocolate.COVID. This poem was inspired by a friend in Discord, who wrote: Friend:Everything tastes badMy apple today tasted weirdThe butter I used on the roll tasted grossMy hot chocolate tastes weird Me:I thought that was going to be a poem but it…

Sam’s time has come         to graduate.Dad and Mom are proud. Has she tried her best?        Of course!“Huge props,” we’ll say aloud. Muscles, brains, a pen with ink,        And a little dash of “cool,”        Have brought her through her younger years,        To lead Sam to High School!

When the last light of day,disappears from the sky,And the moon rises forth,to its place upon high, You’ll swaddle him tightly,and tuck him in bed,Then wish him sweet dreams,with a kiss on his head, Its moments like these,that’ll bring you such joy,And be thrilled you are blessed,with a sweet little boy, As you tiptoe away,you’ll…

I’ve sat and I’ve ponderedWhat you are without luckBut me? It’s too easy.I’m a red fire truck.

As I took my noon-time slumber,I accident’ly called your number.As I turned, and shook, and riled,My top 3 peeps were all butt-dialed.

I’m sorry folks, I missed my chanceTo move my limbs a bit –But sadly, I, just cannot danceOr prance and wiggle it. Instead I stuck to making art –Some doodles that were SICK.Two cards for Angie from my heart –Each had a hairy dick.

Cubbie sat upon the table,Though her masters both were able,Of course they failed to grab the scoop. Her dish half empty sat alone,And neither meow, nor purr, nor moan,Would bring her people in “the loop.” With shattered will she slunk aside,Into the kitchen – not to hide,But hunker down and then regroup. Though hungered pleas…