OMG Girlz Don’t Exist on teh Intarweb!!!!1

This article on Escapist Magazine is amazingly funny and oddly true. It summarizes the assumptions that most on-line gamers have regarding gamer girls…attractive ones at that. Here’s an excerpt:

I am a girl on the internet. Yes, I said it. A girl on the internet. There really are quite a few of us. I can type. I can play games with the best of you. And you, my friend, are about to get owned by a girl.
[…]
[boy1] Teleios is a girl.
[boy2] omg, r u serious?
[boy1] yup, i heard her on vent.
[boy2] omg pics, now.
[Teleios] No.
[boy1] c’mon. you’re not a girl if u don’t show us pics.
[Teleios] I am a girl.
[boy2] then show us a pic.
[Teleios] no.
[boy1] teleios is probably a guy using a voice thing cuz she won’t show a pic.
[boy2] ya, there are no girls on the intarweb.

Sadly, this is true. I have even made assumptions that certain people were male when I’ve played games and I am thrown for a loop when I find out that the person is actually female…and yes, some of those people were attractive female gamers. What is important to note that this isn’t necessarily a sexist assumption. In the past, the number of male gamers dwarfed the number of female gamers by large margins. With the emergence of MMORPGs and increased advertising directed towards females, we are seeing an increase in the amount of “Holy Grails” out there playing a multitude of different genres of games! Its actually really cool.

Image copyright to Escapist Magazine

The Holy Grail

I’m a geek…I play World of Warcraft and am part of a guild. A lot of time has gone into the game. What does a lot of time mean? Well, lets just say I am nearing 1,000 hours! So that brings me to the point of this post…I was directed to this article at Tom’s Hardware that details what the true ‘Holy Grail’ is all about. Here’s the gist:

The Grail I speak of is not the cup of Christ that bestows eternal life, but rather something sought after by young men the world over. I speak of the Attractive Female Gamer. A woman who not only possesses the desirable attributes necessary to attract members of the opposite sex, but who also shares the deep love that some of us have for videogames.

Yup. So true. To a gamer geek (specifically of the mmorpg variety), a woman that has the same interests is a truly blessed thing to date/marry yet exceedingly rare! Now, as the article states, a woman that enjoys Solitaire, Bejeweled, Minesweeper, etc is NOT what we’re talking about here…its the woman that plays MMORPGs and fully understands it.

“What’s the big deal?” some of you may ask. Well, when you live with a woman, her needs can conflict with the needs of the game. We all know the game needs to be played. How else are we going to procure the “phat lewts”? So imagine a woman who not only understands the needs of the game, but is as much a slave to it as we are. She knows the reward that comes with countless hours at the keyboard. She understands that sometimes you just have to eat dinner at the computer because your party is counting on you to heal. She will burn a vacation day in order to play when the server is less crowded. In short, she gets it.

My wife (at least for a time) was the Holy Grail for a looong time. She played WoW as much as me and we often wandered around the world of Azeroth together earning m4d l00t and picking on n00bs. Sadly, her work schedule has drastically changed causing a damper on our gaming co-existence. Hopefully, given time, she will dive back in and understand my drive to play once more! So if you’re a male gamer and you find yourself dating/married to such a woman, know that she is a rare jewel to have and you should pamper and promote her gaming as much as possible! If you are a female gamer…you are a blessing to society and should be extremely vocal in your circle of friends and promote the ideas of slaying Onyxia and running Molten Core!