Need a way to introduce religion to your cats but people words are just too hard to understand? The LOLCat Bible is the answer. Written in a way that cats can understand using the handy dandy (and ever so entertaining) LOLSpeak made popular by the LOLCat images (often found at I Can Has Cheezeburger?).
Upon arriving at the LOLCat Bible you are greeted with this beautiful blessing:
Hai! Teh blessigs of teh Ceiling Cat b pwn u, lol! This is a translation wiki to get the entire Bible translated into kitty pidgin (the language of lolcats). Zotnix saw a link to a picture with this done to Genesis and thought, “Why not the whole darned book?” Well, here is that effort.
The project – done a la Media Wiki – is surprisingly far along with many more Bible verses translated than I would expect! It is important to note that, while this is a collaborative translation of the Bible with excellent attempts at retaining each verse’s meaning, a few words have been altered to give cats an easier time understanding the Bible’s typically human-geared contents. Some of those changes are as follows:
- Earth: urths
- God: Ceiling Cat
- Jesus: Jebus
- Sex: “HARBL GOES WHERE?”
- Heaven: Ceiling
- Sin: Invisible Error
- Blessing: Cheezburger
- Seriously: Srsly
Here are some of the sweet translations:
John 3:16
Psalms 23
- Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.) He givz me evrithin I need.
- He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
- He makez mai soul happi an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
- I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch, bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin’ mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
- He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn. He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
- Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
- Cheezburger are pashient an kind, cheezburger no has jelusniss or showin offz, cheezburger no are OMGWTF when u step on its tail or turn on teh vacuum cleanr, but are basickly delishis.
- Cheezburger no insistzes on doin it rite, itz not pisst off alla tiem or rezentfluffle.
- Cheezburger DO NOT WANT inikwitee, but DO WANT teh troofs.
- Cheezburger putz up wiht all teh stuffz, beelivez all teh stuffz, hoepz for all teh stuffz. Cheezburger putz up wiht all teh stuffz. i sed that areddy.
Needless to say, I was ROFLCoptering all over the place.
As you browse around the wiki, if you find a scripture that isn’t translated yet and you wish to help out, make sure to follow their guidelines before posting! Heck, read them anyways because they are funny in and of themselves.
All told…a good find over the weekend!