Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease

According to the following chart from Venganza, I am sad to say that we are seeing a steady decrease in the number of pirates in relation to the temperature. It seems these powerful pillars of society are unable to take the heat on the high seas, driving their numbers down.

piratesarecool4

Fighting global warming could change all that. Here are a few tips to increasing pirate populations in your area:

  • Speak with/write to the government to increase the awareness of global warming (a.k.a. pirate population reduction…or PPR).
  • Use fuel efficient vehicles.
  • Drive smart, drive less.
  • Buy energy efficient appliances.
  • Replace your light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
  • Weatherize your home or apartment.
  • Choose renewable energy.
  • Find gold and bury it all over the world.

Comments

30 responses to “Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease”

  1. Mitchell Avatar
    Mitchell

    Hahaha, well I’m a pirate too but I stay inside under air conditioning.

    Kinda sad though, We need more pirates!!

    http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

  2. I think you’ve got cause and effect backwards. Ninjas are killing all the pirates, because they are natural enemies, and ninjas are so much more sweet then pirates.. The decline in pirate population causes global warming through some unknown process.

  3. this is hella dumb to have on a search for global warming no one gives a fuck about pirates!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. […] Pirates are not Awesome, although their decrease in number has lead to Global Warming. […]

  5. WTF?! HOW DOES THIS RELATER TO GLOBAL WARMING?

  6. Global warming doesn’t cause population decrease. According to the Pastafarian belief system, decrease in pirates causes global warming, along with earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters. Pirates are the original Pastafarians, and this upsets the Flying Spaghetti Monster enough to raise global warming.

  7. Lack of Pirates is indeed a reaction to global warming. Since the temperature has increased steadily, the weaker, thin-blooded gits what call themselves pirates are drivin indoors, in the safety of their sinful air conditioning. What few pirates left are the ones what possess courage. Our lust will not be blistered by some blasted heat wave. It simply drives us to be more ruthless and quicker to anger. So stay inside landlubbers, we need not yer numbers.

  8. Wait a tick, there were 35 thousand pirates in the early 17th century!!?

  9. The important bit that ties GW with PPR is explained quite clearly here.

  10. f-drake Avatar
    f-drake

    you’ll notice, pekau, that the first plot on the graph says “1820” and not “1620”
    so yes, there very well could’ve been that many pirates in the early 17th, but there were definitely that many in the early 19th

  11. Vincent Avatar
    Vincent

    Nice article to demonstrate the informal logical fallacy: Correlation doesn’t necessary imply causation

  12. lolloololobloht Avatar
    lolloololobloht

    I like to eat pirets all day long so sue me!

  13. btch man Avatar
    btch man

    I am iron man!
    im am iron man,
    iron man i am!!!!
    iron man!

    yer bitches

  14. I used to be a pirate, then i met a babe.. she was hot.

    maybe that’s why I quit plundering and now am just a website thingy.

  15. […] autism, you name it, they skyrocketed with the invention of vaccine’s. Yeah, just like the global temperature is linked to declining number of pirates. Even if there were a correlation between the use of vaccines and the rise of, say, Alzheimer’s […]

  16. shut the F**** up btch man you are a f***in bitch too go to f***in hell dumbass

  17. shut the F**** up you are a f***in bitch too go to f***in hell dumbass

    I’m a pirate…
    http://www.thepiratebay.org

    I’m a pirate…
    http://www.thepiratebay.org

    I am iron man!im am iron man,iron man i am!!!!iron man!
    yer bitches

    I am iron man!im am iron man,iron man i am!!!!iron man!
    yer bitches

    I am iron man!im am iron man,iron man i am!!!!iron man!
    yer bitches

  18. btch man can go to hell for all i care he could lick a f***in dog’s crap and ass for all i care! GO to f***in hell btchman you are a f***in mother f***er asshole!

  19. NO one gives a f*** about you Sam! Global Warming ROCKS! I hope you go to f***in hell

  20. shut the fuck up wamba

  21. shut the fuck up Wumba before i wup ur ass over the cement

  22. shut the fuck up sam. Nobody fickin cares about pirates

    this is hella dumb to have on a search for global warming no one gives a fuck about pirates!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. shut up the fuck up sam no one fuckin cares about pirates

  24. […] Pirates are not Awesome, although their decrease in number has lead to Global Warming. […]

  25. Is there a statistically significant association if the series are detrended?

  26. […] hey, nothing about pirates? What’s up with […]