Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease
According to the following chart from Venganza, I am sad to say that we are seeing a steady decrease in the number of pirates in relation to the temperature. It seems these powerful pillars of society are unable to take the heat on the high seas, driving their numbers down.
Fighting global warming could change all that. Here are a few tips to increasing pirate populations in your area:
- Speak with/write to the government to increase the awareness of global warming (a.k.a. pirate population reduction…or PPR).
- Use fuel efficient vehicles.
- Drive smart, drive less.
- Buy energy efficient appliances.
- Replace your light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
- Weatherize your home or apartment.
- Choose renewable energy.
- Find gold and bury it all over the world.
Discuss This Article
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15 Responses to “Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease”
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Wandering Pig Effer
Posted: May 4th, 2006 at 6:20 am1 -
Mitchell
Posted: May 4th, 2006 at 8:05 pmReply to this comment.Hahaha, well I’m a pirate too but I stay inside under air conditioning.
Kinda sad though, We need more pirates!!
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Justin
Posted: May 8th, 2006 at 5:31 pmReply to this comment.I think you’ve got cause and effect backwards. Ninjas are killing all the pirates, because they are natural enemies, and ninjas are so much more sweet then pirates.. The decline in pirate population causes global warming through some unknown process.
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sam
Posted: Dec 12th, 2006 at 7:25 pmReply to this comment.this is hella dumb to have on a search for global warming no one gives a fuck about pirates!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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pingback:
Posted: Feb 27th, 2007 at 11:30 amBorkWeb » Internet and Awesomeness Diagram - A Technical Post Reply to this comment.[...] Pirates are not Awesome, although their decrease in number has lead to Global Warming. [...]
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moo
Posted: Feb 27th, 2007 at 6:35 pmReply to this comment.WTF?! HOW DOES THIS RELATER TO GLOBAL WARMING?
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Jade
Posted: Apr 5th, 2007 at 6:28 pmReply to this comment.Global warming doesn’t cause population decrease. According to the Pastafarian belief system, decrease in pirates causes global warming, along with earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters. Pirates are the original Pastafarians, and this upsets the Flying Spaghetti Monster enough to raise global warming.
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Aiden O'Fellon
Posted: Apr 28th, 2007 at 7:14 pmReply to this comment.Lack of Pirates is indeed a reaction to global warming. Since the temperature has increased steadily, the weaker, thin-blooded gits what call themselves pirates are drivin indoors, in the safety of their sinful air conditioning. What few pirates left are the ones what possess courage. Our lust will not be blistered by some blasted heat wave. It simply drives us to be more ruthless and quicker to anger. So stay inside landlubbers, we need not yer numbers.
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pekau
Posted: Jan 30th, 2008 at 7:10 pmReply to this comment.Wait a tick, there were 35 thousand pirates in the early 17th century!!?
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olie
Posted: Feb 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 amReply to this comment.The important bit that ties GW with PPR is explained quite clearly here.
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f-drake
Posted: Mar 10th, 2008 at 5:11 pmReply to this comment.you’ll notice, pekau, that the first plot on the graph says “1820″ and not “1620″
so yes, there very well could’ve been that many pirates in the early 17th, but there were definitely that many in the early 19th11 -
Vincent
Posted: Apr 17th, 2008 at 12:12 pmReply to this comment.Nice article to demonstrate the informal logical fallacy: Correlation doesn’t necessary imply causation
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lolloololobloht
Posted: May 20th, 2008 at 4:47 amReply to this comment.I like to eat pirets all day long so sue me!
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btch man
Posted: May 20th, 2008 at 4:49 amReply to this comment.I am iron man!
im am iron man,
iron man i am!!!!
iron man!yer bitches
14 -
Wumba
Posted: Aug 11th, 2008 at 2:12 pmReply to this comment.I used to be a pirate, then i met a babe.. she was hot.
maybe that’s why I quit plundering and now am just a website thingy.
15




I’m a pirate…
http://www.thepiratebay.org