Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease

According to the following chart from Venganza, I am sad to say that we are seeing a steady decrease in the number of pirates in relation to the temperature. It seems these powerful pillars of society are unable to take the heat on the high seas, driving their numbers down.

piratesarecool4

Fighting global warming could change all that. Here are a few tips to increasing pirate populations in your area:

  • Speak with/write to the government to increase the awareness of global warming (a.k.a. pirate population reduction…or PPR).
  • Use fuel efficient vehicles.
  • Drive smart, drive less.
  • Buy energy efficient appliances.
  • Replace your light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
  • Weatherize your home or apartment.
  • Choose renewable energy.
  • Find gold and bury it all over the world.

Discuss This Article


15 Responses to “Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease”

  1. AvatarWandering Pig Effer
    1
  2. AvatarMitchell

    Hahaha, well I’m a pirate too but I stay inside under air conditioning.

    Kinda sad though, We need more pirates!!

    http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

    Reply to this comment.
    2
  3. AvatarJustin

    I think you’ve got cause and effect backwards. Ninjas are killing all the pirates, because they are natural enemies, and ninjas are so much more sweet then pirates.. The decline in pirate population causes global warming through some unknown process.

    Reply to this comment.
    3
  4. Avatarsam

    this is hella dumb to have on a search for global warming no one gives a fuck about pirates!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply to this comment.
    4
  5. pingback pingback:
    BorkWeb » Internet and Awesomeness Diagram - A Technical Post

    [...] Pirates are not Awesome, although their decrease in number has lead to Global Warming. [...]

    Reply to this comment.
    5
  6. Avatarmoo

    WTF?! HOW DOES THIS RELATER TO GLOBAL WARMING?

    Reply to this comment.
    6
  7. AvatarJade

    Global warming doesn’t cause population decrease. According to the Pastafarian belief system, decrease in pirates causes global warming, along with earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters. Pirates are the original Pastafarians, and this upsets the Flying Spaghetti Monster enough to raise global warming.

    Reply to this comment.
    7
  8. AvatarAiden O'Fellon

    Lack of Pirates is indeed a reaction to global warming. Since the temperature has increased steadily, the weaker, thin-blooded gits what call themselves pirates are drivin indoors, in the safety of their sinful air conditioning. What few pirates left are the ones what possess courage. Our lust will not be blistered by some blasted heat wave. It simply drives us to be more ruthless and quicker to anger. So stay inside landlubbers, we need not yer numbers.

    Reply to this comment.
    8
  9. Avatarpekau

    Wait a tick, there were 35 thousand pirates in the early 17th century!!?

    Reply to this comment.
    9
  10. Avatarolie

    The important bit that ties GW with PPR is explained quite clearly here.

    Reply to this comment.
    10
  11. Avatarf-drake

    you’ll notice, pekau, that the first plot on the graph says “1820″ and not “1620″
    so yes, there very well could’ve been that many pirates in the early 17th, but there were definitely that many in the early 19th

    Reply to this comment.
    11
  12. AvatarVincent

    Nice article to demonstrate the informal logical fallacy: Correlation doesn’t necessary imply causation

    Reply to this comment.
    12
  13. Avatarlolloololobloht

    I like to eat pirets all day long so sue me!

    Reply to this comment.
    13
  14. Avatarbtch man

    I am iron man!
    im am iron man,
    iron man i am!!!!
    iron man!

    yer bitches

    Reply to this comment.
    14
  15. AvatarWumba

    I used to be a pirate, then i met a babe.. she was hot.

    maybe that’s why I quit plundering and now am just a website thingy.

    Reply to this comment.
    15

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