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Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks the World

It may seem odd, but there is a Chuck Norris fad that is sweeping the net…specifically, the World of Warcraft forums. People are coming up with random Chuck Norris facts that really are quite hilarious. He seems to be a much more accomplished man than I had realized. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
  • In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  • Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  • Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Here’s what Chuck Norris has to say about the whole thing.

Posted in Blog, Random News.

Tagged with , , , , .

11 comments

By Matt – January 12, 2006

11 Responses

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  1. Wandering Pig Effer says

    ZOMG!!!11!1one!1cos(0)

    February 1, 2006, 12:22 pm
  2. chucknorissux says

    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

    this is a good site for redic noris lines as well

    February 3, 2006, 7:04 am
  3. tmaiden says

    If you enjoy these, you might as well read, view, and post your own at http://www.famousfacts.net

    September 11, 2006, 11:56 am
  4. chuck norris is big says

    I love chuck norris……

    September 12, 2007, 8:24 am
  5. metin2 yang says

    Is it possible The Captain could be Chuck

    October 18, 2009, 10:12 pm
  6. ivan says

    Do you know how the Ninja Turtles were born?……..Chuck Norris Fucked a Turtle

    November 13, 2009, 3:34 pm

Continuing the Discussion

  1. No Sheep » Nextwave Rocks linked to this post on March 11, 2006

    [...] Is it possible The Captain could be Chuck Norris?!?. [...]

  2. Jeremy’s WordPress Blog » Blog Archive » Chuck Norris Facts and His Response linked to this post on April 20, 2006

    [...] So, I haven’t gotten into this whole “Chuck Norris does this or that”, but for those of you who are, you might be interested in this: http://borkweb.com/story/chuck-norris-roundhouse-kicks-the-world [...]

  3. BorkWeb » Chuck Norris Bridge? linked to this post on August 16, 2006

    [...] Reuters mentions that the head-runner is none other than Chuck Norris. This awesome voting is most heavily fueled by the Chuck Norris fad that has graced us by roundhouse kicking the world with his totally awesome (and true) facts. The walking-bearded god may very well become immortalized as a Hungarian bridge! For a time he was the top choice holding 11% of the votes! Sadly, since C-Net’s article, his standing has fallen :( [...]

  4. » A Snacky adventure in the World of Warcraft | Geekend | TechRepublic.com linked to this post on August 21, 2007

    [...] there was Leroy Jenkins, and then there was Chuck Norris. Now there is Snacky. As a Horde guild, Technologia doesn’t spend much time with Gnomes [...]

  5. Chuck Norris & Mike Huckabee: HuckChuckFacts : BorkWeb linked to this post on November 20, 2007

    [...] Norris is a god among men, legendary warrior, and all around deadly guy as I’ve stated before. It turns out that Mike Huckabee knows the power of this powerful force of [...]



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