Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks the World

It may seem odd, but there is a Chuck Norris fad that is sweeping the net…specifically, the World of Warcraft forums. People are coming up with random Chuck Norris facts that really are quite hilarious. He seems to be a much more accomplished man than I had realized. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
  • In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  • Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  • Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Here’s what Chuck Norris has to say about the whole thing.